When you’re a cartographer, having to make maps sort of comes with the territory.
Jarod KintzThe locked door in my house is just a diversion. The real valuable items are out in the open, where they are hidden from the unimaginative.
Jarod KintzThere’s cat feces in my Batman costume, and all the lines in my screenplay were snorted by the neighborhood cokehead. Ah, but that’s life, no?
Jarod KintzI don’t need to actually make my product safer. All I need to do to make it safe is put a warning label on the package.
Jarod KintzI sent him a silent message with my body language, but he must be deaf—or, rather, blind.
Jarod KintzI don’t need a napkin. That’s what pants are for.
Jarod KintzI forgot to bring up banana peels. I guess it just slipped my mind.
Jarod KintzSunglasses make me feel cool. They also make me feel cool. (Stylish and refreshingly chilly).
Jarod KintzI’m a gopher. If I see something I want, I go for it, Orafoura said
.
And I’m a shepherd. If I see a sheep I like, I fuck it, I replied. I mean I would, if I were sexually attracted to average Americans.
No matter how hard I try, I can’t grow facial hair on my chest.
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