Die besten Zitate der Welt!

I launder dirty money. You should see my washing machine. (It’s filthy!)

I don’t have a blue-collar job. It’s more of a green collar, because of all the yellow sweat stains mixing in.

A farm is a business, and I ran mine into the ground. The next year it grew back.

My brain is an amazing machine. Too bad I can’t take credit for it. As brilliant as I am, think how profound the Designer that created me is.

Hellos are ascending in speed, not slowing down like goodbyes. I may say hi as I swerve my car to greet you head on.

I don’t know the man standing next to me in the mirror. He looks like me, so is he my clone? He is scratching my balls. (How thoughtful!)

To take another person’s life for personal gain is the most selfish act imaginable. Especially when that other person is your clone.

My clone will have my mind, but I don’t mind. Two heads are better than one—especially when those two are one and the same.

The morning came pouring down on my night, but luckily I was able to convert my erection into an umbrella.

Getting struck by lightning is like winning the lottery, only it’ll ruin your life faster.

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