Die besten Zitate der Welt!

The crickets sounded like maybe in the trees. They were pretty loud to be so unsure of themselves.

I’d rather fail to try than try and fail. But, then, I am a coward who votes with my wallet, which is always empty.

I want to do something so hard so easily, and I want to do it with no hands. Only gloves. Love will fill the void.

What does it matter if you can speak two or more languages if you have nothing original to say in any language?

I want to be a naughty pirate, because when I put on that eye patch, it barely covers my genitals.

I want to say something so embarrassing about September that even the leaves start blushing and turning red.

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair.

I want to upholster the inside lining of my nostrils with leather, to have that "new car smell" all the time.

To me, the perfect date consists of dinner, dancing, and sex with a girl who has no stomach or legs, but does have an overactive sex drive.

I gave my girlfriend a gallon of my semen and a minivan and told her to fill it up with kids. Big mistake! I should have given her a bus.

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