Bricks could be used to stock vending machines. You may be out of a home, but I’ll never be out of bricks to sell you.
Jarod KintzA brick could be used to tell the time. If you can see it it’s daytime, and if you can’t see it it’s nighttime.
Jarod KintzA brick could be used as a boat, and due to the brick’s reputation of indestructibility, we could call the boat “The Titanic.” Surely a brick with that name would never sink.
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used like so many poor people get used and then thrown away like a sack of baloney that’s started to turn green. It’s sad really, when you consider all the sandwiches that could have been made out of all those poor people.
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used to trick a bull into charging at you. After you trick the bull, trick a bear next, and then by that time all the investors will be playing your game, not even knowing that you are the Blanket Master that controls the world.
Jarod KintzA brick could be slid on a wood floor, like a rolling bowling ball, in an attempt to fill the seconds between swallows of beer.
Jarod KintzA brick could be used as a child’s game to improve memory. I forgot how exactly, but then I never played much.
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used to show people the benefits of sleeping with a parachute—especially if you’ve got a flying bed like I do.
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used to foil slave traders. But so could tinfoil and leftover meatloaf. Geez, the whole Civil War could have been avoided if only Lincoln had known that little trick.
Jarod KintzBricks could be used to replace stop signs. Some people won’t stop at stop signs, but everybody will stop for a brick wall.
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