A blanket could be used to line the walls of the Love Chamber, to soundproof it so that nobody hears you scream.
Jarod KintzA brick could be used as gift for the man who has everything. Here’s a tip: that man doesn’t have everything, because I just stole his wallet. But I can’t very well give him a gift of something I’ve just grifted. So while he’s pondering the meaning of the brick as a present, I’m off spending his money. It’s win-win for both of us. And by both of us I mean me and you, not me and him, because naturally you’ll be my accomplice, my partner, and as such you’re entitled to half. Of half. But since I’m paying you 25%, you’re paying for dinner.
Jarod KintzA brick could be used to keep a level head. I don’t mean remaining rational, I mean literally, keep your head still and balanced and don’t let the brick fall off. Actually, keeping the brick stable on your head might keep you emotionally stable, as it’ll stop you from rushing to judgment—or rushing anywhere, inhibiting rashness.
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used to smother a fire—but not the fire that burns in my heart for you. Or perhaps that’s merely heartburn, and you’re just as common as a brick.
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used like Lenny McDenny says hello. He never says hi, because he only says goodbye. He’s always leaving and never arriving. I’m like that too, except I’m always arriving and never leaving. I also eat all the food in your fridge, and never leave when you ask me to. Why would I leave? Good food, good friends, and good food.
Jarod KintzA brick and a blanket walk into a bar. And I don’t drink, so I wasn’t around to hear the interaction between them and the bartender.
Jarod KintzI love this book like I love a brick and a blanket, which could be used to teach people the value of safe sex. Remember, if you’re going to have safe sex, try not to get locked inside the safe without anybody on the outside knowing the combination.
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used to cover up your infidelity. Either use the blanket to hide your cheating ways, or figure out how to fornicate with all your clothes on.
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used to spread the love around. Tuck it in at the edges, so nobody can hog all the amor.
Jarod KintzA brick could be used to back the dollar. Hey, it’s better than the dollar being backed by nothing, right?
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