I make love like I sell sausages to strange women. One at a time, and always covered with a condom (to keep the flies away).

Jarod Kintz


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A blanket could be used to barter with. I could trade my blanket for your sex, and everybody’s happy but the tax collector.


Jarod Kintz


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A brick could be translated into Spanish, and then used to landscape a lawn.


Jarod Kintz


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A brick could be crushed, mixed with water, and drunk like a sports drink. And hey, with no bromated vegetable oil, it’s healthier than Gatorade.


Jarod Kintz


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A brick could be tied to a cape, and then exalted as a superhero. Is that any more absurd than Superman?


Jarod Kintz


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A blanket, as the epitome of warmth, could be used to stop colds. Also, sex with me might be the surest way to prevent a cold.


Jarod Kintz


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A brick could be used to separate the Jorges from the hoorays.


Jarod Kintz


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A brick can and should be used as a telephone, because that way I won’t feel so bummed out that she never calls me. 


Jarod Kintz


Weiter zum Zitat


A brick could be used to silence your critics. Think of it like a really thick and unchewy piece of chewing gum. 


Jarod Kintz


Weiter zum Zitat


A blanket could be used to fill the night sky with smoke, if you use it to suffocate the fire. And if you mess it up, I’ll use my hands to suffocate you. 


Jarod Kintz


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