Toys "R" Us. Zack put on a wool cap and sunglasses.
"You look like a bank robber," I observed.
"No toy is safe.

Joan Bauer


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You know what we learned from living under the rule of Communism?"
"No."
"We learned to get mad.

Joan Bauer


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Will we have bodyguards?"
"We're not quite set up for that. But with all these mothers, you don't need them.

Joan Bauer


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You don't understand how much light you have until the lights go out.

Joan Bauer


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Teenagers are like bees at night, I think. We don't like waking up and we don't always get with the program immediately, but once we figure out our mission, we'll see it through.

Joan Bauer


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How could a man with so much heart die from a heart attack?

Joan Bauer


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Everyone needs fudge, Hildy. It's how God helps us cope.

Joan Bauer

Stichwörter: chocolate coping-strategies



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Sometimes just getting up in the morning and standing at the gate can bring the gate down.

Joan Bauer


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If she's really psychic," Zack said when he saw Tanisha's photo at school, "why does she need a doorbell?

Joan Bauer

Stichwörter: irony precognition



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Why do you think, A.J.," they say in unison, "that you find these boys so attractive?"

I didn't say that this fiery chemical explosion leaps from somewhere inside me. Parents don't want to hear these things. I shrugged and said nothing.

"Maybe you should try sitting on the intensity," Mom suggests, "just until your feelings catch up with reality."

"We could chain you to the water heater," Dad offers, "until these little moments pass."

You see what I'm up against.

Joan Bauer

Stichwörter: humor parents communication family-relationships teenagers hormones parental-advice



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