Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I figured this out.
I know what's wrong with what we've done in Iraq.
We've been following time as it goes forward.
What a classic mistake. Linear time is so pre-9-11.

Jon Stewart


Weiter zum Zitat


Why did the Articles [of Confederation] fail so completely? Most historians believe the founding fathers spent a great deal of their first constitutional convention drafting the delaration of independence and only realized on July 3rd the Articles were also due.

Jon Stewart

Stichwörter: america failure constitution confederation



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Get there early because hope does not park your mother-fucking car.

Jon Stewart

Stichwörter: humor obama parking



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Cause if there's one thing Islamic terrorists don't have is....(seriously thinking about it)....%#@

Jon Stewart


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So, is there hope for a truly democratic Africa? Long answer: Only if continent-wide improvements in education, human rights and public health are coupled with an aggressive and far-sighted debt-relief program that breaks the cycle of subsistence farming and urban squalor. Short answer: No.

Jon Stewart


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Thomas Jefferson once said: 'Of course the people don't want war. But the people can be brought to the bidding of their leader. All you have to do is tell them they're being attacked and denounce the pacifists for somehow a lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.' I think that was Jefferson. Oh wait. That was Hermann Goering. Shoot."

[Hosting the Peabody Awards for broadcasting excellence at the New York Waldorf-Astoria, June 6, 2006]

Jon Stewart

Stichwörter: war misquote indoctrination jefferson iraq-war



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Donald Rumsfeld. Love him or hate him, you've gotta admit: a lot of people hate him.

Jon Stewart

Stichwörter: politics hate joh-stewart rumsfield



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Here’s how bizarre the war is that we’re in in Iraq, and we should have known this right from the get-go: When we first went into Iraq, Germany didn’t want to go. Germany. The Michael Jordan of war took a pass.

Jon Stewart


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If "con" is the opposite of pro, then isn't Congress the opposite of progress? Or did we just fucking blow your mind?!?

Jon Stewart


Weiter zum Zitat


It's like hunting cows

Jon Stewart


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