If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies.

Jon Stewart


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To have not shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.

Jon Stewart

Stichwörter: humor



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I have some bad news. Bjork cannot be here tonight. She was trying on her Oscar dress and Dick Cheney shot her.

Jon Stewart

Stichwörter: comedy political



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Why would these English explorers search for these spices, yet never use them in their food? --7/14/09 interview with Peter Mancall, author of Fatal Journey

Jon Stewart


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We've come from the same history - 2000 years of persecution - we've just expressed our sufferings differently. Blacks developed the blues. Jews complained, we just never thought of putting it to music.

Jon Stewart

Stichwörter: black blues jewish



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It's not that the Democrats are playing checkers and the Republicans are playing chess. It's that the Republicans are playing chess and the Democrats are in the nurse's office because once again they glued their balls to their thighs.

Jon Stewart

Stichwörter: humor politics



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If everything is amplified, we hear nothing.

Jon Stewart

Stichwörter: media media-corruption rally-to-restore-insanity



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If we amplify everything, we hear nothing.

Jon Stewart

Stichwörter: truth



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Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality.

Jon Stewart


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We called her Mother Earth. Because she gave birth to us, and then we sucked her dry.

Jon Stewart


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