Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German.
Mark TwainStichwörter: humor
It didn't take me long to make up my mind that these liars warn't no kings nor dukes at all, but just low-down humbugs and frauds. But I never said nothing, never let on; kept it to myself; it's the best way; then you don't have no quarrels, and don't get into no trouble. If they wanted us to call them kings and dukes, I hadn't no objections, 'long as it would keep peace in the family; and it warn't no use to tell Jim, so I didn't tell him. If I never learnt nothing else out of pap, I learnt that the best way to get along with his kind of people is to let them have their own way.
Mark TwainHonesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
Mark TwainStichwörter: humor-inspirational
Our opinions do not really blossom into fruition until we have expressed them to someone else.
Mark TwainStichwörter: opinions
I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts.
Mark TwainWe catched fish, and talked, and we took a swim now and then to keep off sleepiness. It was kind of solemn, drifting down the big still river, laying on our backs looking up at the stars, and we didn’t ever feel like talking loud, and it warn’t often that we laughed, only a kind of low chuckle. We had mighty good weather, as a general thing, and nothing ever happened to us at all, that night, nor the next, nor the next.
Mark TwainIn the afternoon the ship's company assembled aft, on deck, under the awnings; the flute, the asthmatic meodeon, and the consumptive clarinet crippled the Star Spangled Banner, the choir chased it to cover, and George came in with a peculiarly lacerating screech on the final note and slaughtered it. Nobody mourned. We carried out the corpse on three cheers (that joke was not intentional and I do not endorse it).
Mark TwainNever argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
Mark TwainI have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
Mark TwainThe Doors Open at 7, The trouble begins at 8.
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