I grew up having to piss in a bucket ’cos there was no indoor shitter, and now I have these computerised Japanese super-loo things that have heated seats and wash and blow-dry your arse at the touch of a button. Give it a couple of years and I’ll have a bog with a robot arm that pulls out my turds, so I don’t have to strain.
Ozzy OsbourneI have the greatest respect for Tony Iommi.
Ozzy OsbourneGoing on stage was like being at a butchers’ convention. And, of course, the animal rights people were going nuts. The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals sent people to ‘monitor’ our gigs. The crew would f**k with them all the time. They’d say, ‘Oh, Ozzy’s going to throw eighteen puppies into the audience tonight, and he won’t sing a note until they’ve all been slaughtered.’
The ASPCA believed every word of it.
‘Ozzy, is it true you got busted for pissing on the Alamo?’ he asked me.
‘Yeah,’ I told him. ‘It’s true.’
‘Shit, man,’ he said. ‘We piss on it every night on our way home.’
The way I was boozing was a kind of suicide. It was only gonna be a matter of time.
Ozzy OsbourneReviews?
Didn’t read ’em.
I didn’t have a clue what love was about until I met Sharon.
Ozzy OsbourneIt’s sad, y’know, what money does to people.
Ozzy OsbourneWhen you’re in love, it’s not just about the messing around in the sack, it’s about how empty you feel when they’re gone.
Ozzy OsbourneI’ve said to my kids, ‘I don’t want you to think I jumped away from you and clicked my heels and said bon voyage. It wasn’t like that at all. It just about destroyed me.'
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