A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.

Steven Wright

Stichwörter: humor earth



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I was in the supermarket the other day, and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands. Her name was 'woman.

Steven Wright

Stichwörter: humor women



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There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

Steven Wright


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How do you get off a non-stop flight?

Steven Wright


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Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, 'So, what did you think?

Steven Wright

Stichwörter: humor



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I went down to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours. He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.

Steven Wright

Stichwörter: humor grocery



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I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.

Steven Wright

Stichwörter: humor recursion



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99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Steven Wright


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I had amnesia once or twice.

Steven Wright


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How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

Steven Wright


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