A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.
Steven WrightI was in the supermarket the other day, and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands. Her name was 'woman.
Steven WrightThere was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
Steven WrightHow do you get off a non-stop flight?
Steven WrightTwo babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, 'So, what did you think?
Steven WrightTag: humor
I went down to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours. He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.
Steven WrightI have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
Steven Wright99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Steven WrightI had amnesia once or twice.
Steven WrightHow did a fool and his money get together in the first place?
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