If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?

Steven Wright


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Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?

Steven Wright


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When an evil masochist dies, does he go to hell, or would heaven be a better punishment?

Steven Wright

Tag: humor



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What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

Steven Wright


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If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

Steven Wright


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Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?

Steven Wright


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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Steven Wright


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How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?

Steven Wright


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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

Steven Wright

Tag: humor-relationships



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I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

Steven Wright


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