If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.

George Carlin

Stichwörter: comedy hilarious stand-up



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Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark

Graham Chapman

Stichwörter: truth comedy



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Commercial comedy's often set up to feature an ironist making
devastating sport of someone who's naive or sentimental or pretentious or
pompous.

David Foster Wallace

Stichwörter: comedy irony pretentious-weenies naivete pompous



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I don't drink to make others look better, I just drink to make myself feel prettier.

Brooke Bida

Stichwörter: random drinking sad comedy drunk pretty silly libertarian-ann anarchist-ann anarchist-comedian beer-googles



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Misery comes to miser; joy comes to wiser. (A Very Hot Cup of Tea, Empathy)

Juvenile invites, youth tries, adult applies, and the old man dies. (A Straw Man, Empathy)

In everyone, there lives a superhero. (The Medicine Man, Empathy)

Faith is the strongest word in any dictionary. (The Wisdom Beard, Empathy)

I’ve entered into your feelings; it’s your turn now. (Empathy)

D.R. Mirror

Stichwörter: empathy fiction death-and-dying comedy short-story



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I couldn't have made a better shot, if I had been one of those detectives who see a chap walking along the street and deduce that he is a retired manufacturer of poppet valves named Robinson with rheumatism in one arm, living at Clapham.

P.G. Wodehouse

Stichwörter: comedy detectives



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Yes. They are the words that finally turned me into the hermit I have now become. It was quite sudden. I saw them, and I knew what I had to do."

The sign read:
"Hold stick near center of its length. Moisten pointed end in mouth. Insert in tooth space, blunt end next to gum. Use gentle in-out motion."

"It seemed to me," said Wonko the Sane, "that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a package of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane.

Douglas Adams

Stichwörter: insanity society satire genius comedy social-anxiety hermit



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Because I'm not really certain she'd make the best travel partner through a zombie-infested city, he hissed. She gets confused by Scrabble.

Jesse Petersen

Stichwörter: comedy zombies married-with-zombies



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Make requests, not demands. "Please" kill that zombie, honey, I'm out of bullets.

Jesse Petersen

Stichwörter: comedy zombies married-with-zombies



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Support your partner in their interests. You never know when batting practice, kung fu movie moves, or even a poker night might come in handy during a zombie infestation.

Jesse Petersen

Stichwörter: comedy zombies married-with-zombies



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