I should have known that having "end of the world" sex wouldn't solve our problems. Though, it was pretty great and I highly recommend it.

Jesse Petersen

Stichwörter: comedy zombie married-with-zombies



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Build mutual friendships. Just be ready to end them when your friends start trying to eat you.

Jesse Petersen

Stichwörter: comedy zombies married-with-zombies



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Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening.

Steve Martin

Stichwörter: humor comedy comedy-humor comedians



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Lactose intolerant milk?! KISS, MY, DICK!

Lewis Black

Stichwörter: humor milk comedy



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It seems to me that they only seem to mention things in the Bible that are within a 5 mile radius of the guy writing it.

Jim Jefferies

Stichwörter: bible comedy scepticism stand-up-comedy



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Suddenly, however, the dastardly department of my personality presented two plans, one of which involved dynamite, mustache wax, some rope, and train tracks . . . which I rejected due to financial investment.

Laurie Notaro

Stichwörter: funny comedy villainy



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I had one friend with same-sex orientation, and Dana hadn't spoken to me since I asked her to describe her honeymoon in graphic detail—and then made vibrator noises.

Dani Alexander

Stichwörter: humor love comedy



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When I was in eighth grade, I used a self-timing camera to take nude pictures of myself in various stages of erection. I then exchanged my biology teacher’s slides with the images. The teacher, in a state of panic, kept rapidly pressing the ‘next’ button. It was like a pornographic flip-book. That was the last straw in a very heavy pile of straws. I was expelled, and I ended up transferring mid-year from boarding school to a public school near home.

Dani Alexander

Stichwörter: humor friendship love comedy



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You know when you send a text message to someone and you don't get a response right away, you feel depressed? You send a text message to someone you really like and you get a response right away you feel happy? You feel happy, the body, it creates the chemical dopamine, the dopamine, it goes through your blood and you become addicted to that dopamine rush, and you associate that dopamine rush with the happy feeling of receiving the text, and that's why you got people sending 3,000 fucking text messages a day, right, we're not even paying attention to what we're saying anymore it's just like a, like a morphine drip, right, it's like a dopamine drip! HAPPY BUTTONS! HAPPY BUTTONS! HAPPY BUTTONS! TIME TO PLAY WITH THE HAPPY BUTTONS!

Tom Green

Stichwörter: happiness addiction comedy depression texting



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The effort really to see and really to represent is no idle business in face of the constant force that makes for muddlement. The great thing is indeed that the muddled state too is one of the very sharpest of the realities, that it also has color and form and character, has often in fact a broad and rich comicality.

Henry James

Stichwörter: reality satire seeing comedy representation comicality muddlement



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