No bikinis on a first date.” He nods. “I’m sure that’s a rule. Or should be. For my sisters anyway.

Huntley Fitzpatrick

Stichwörter: romance humour funny young-adult young-adult-romance



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I guess I like things that take time and attention. More worthwhile that way.

Huntley Fitzpatrick

Stichwörter: romance humour funny young-adult young-adult-romance



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Dave? This is John."
"What are you-"
Alive?
"-in an ambulance or something?"
"Yes and no. Are you still at the police station?"
"Yeah. We were both-"
"Have I died yet?

David Wong

Stichwörter: funny david police john died-yet



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Fuck all of you," John retorded. "You don't even exist. We're all just a figment of my cock's imagination.

David Wong

Stichwörter: funny john dick



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One more victim sucked in by John. You get into the room with him and you just fall into a warm pool of beer and video games and penis jokes, staring at the universe with him and saying, "Do you believe this shit?

David Wong

Stichwörter: funny john dick-jokes



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He whipped the chair around and actually split one of the things in half with the impact, spilling the spray of blood that was reflective, like mercury.
John bellowed, "Anyone else want to donate blood to chair-ity?"
He ducked into the the door and bashed one monster right in the wig, screaming, "There's some dessert! With a chair-y on top!

David Wong

Stichwörter: funny john chair-jokes



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John flung himself into a pseudo-karate stance, one hand poised behind him and one in front, posed like a cartoon cactus. I thought for an odd moment he had moved his limbs so fast they had made that whoosh sound through air but then I realized John was making that sound with his mouth.

David Wong

Stichwörter: funny karate john whoosh



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If I were you, I'd go and do that. : Vikalp
That's why you're not me! : Yatharth.

Shubham Choudhary

Stichwörter: funny books-to-read my-ex-fell-in-love



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Faculty Meetings are held whenever the need to show off is combined
with the imperative of accomplishing nothing.

Alexander Theroux

Stichwörter: funny



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Don't confuse efforts with results....

C.P. Sennett

Stichwörter: funny sales



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