You look like a hot tamale.”
“That’s not really a compliment.
Stichwörter: romance humour funny young-adult-fiction young-adult-romance
A text pops up on the screen. It’s from Luis. I can’t help but grin when I read his perfectly thought-out message.
Luis: Hey
Stichwörter: romance humour funny young-adult-fiction young-adult-romance
P—Jamie!” I called.
He waded back toward me. “I’m starting to think my name is Pajamie.”
“Your name should be Pajerky. You said it wasn’t deep.”
“Pajerky?” He gave me a skeptical look. “That’s Pathetic.”
“We’ll see how smug you are once I’m on dry land.
Stichwörter: sun funny poe beach amy jamie love-story
My love’s got a lot of love to give. Unfortunately, she gives none of it to me.
Dark Jar Tin ZooI'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated.
Dark Jar Tin ZooStichwörter: humor love animals dogs sex funny dog unrelated
We made love like a half a minute. I brought the thirty seconds, and she provided the excuse as to why she didn’t have enough time to have sex with me.
Dark Jar Tin ZooStichwörter: humor love sex relationships funny excuse time-excuses
I pretend he doesn’t exist, and he does the same with me.
Ida LøkåsStichwörter: life funny pretend relationship exist
I bet she likes it hard, from behind, probably likes to get spanked too. I mean, just look at her, she has a serious come-fuck-me-face.
Ida LøkåsStichwörter: humor sex funny fuck face slut
Instead of heading for a big mental breakdown, I decided to have a small breakdown every Tuesday evening.
Graham ParkeStichwörter: humor philosophy funny breakdown mental quirky
I'm sorry, I don't understand. Could you tell me more about this 'profanity'?"
Mrs. Miller nodded at my dictionary. "I'll assume you don't need a definition. Perhaps you'd prefer an example?"
"That would be so helpful, thank you very much."
Without missing a beat, Mrs. Miller rattled off a stream of obscenities so fully and completely unexpected that I fell off my chair. Mothers were defiled, their male and female children, as well as any and all offspring who just happened to be born out of wedlock. AS for the sacred union that produced these innocent babes, the pertinent bodily appendages were catalogued by a list of names so profoundly scurrilous that a grizzled marine, conceived in a brothel and dying of a disease he contracted in one, would've wished he'd been born as smooth as a Ken doll. The act itself was invoked with such a verity of incestuous, scatological, bestial, and just plain bizarre variations that that same marine would've given up on the Ken doll fantasy, and wished instead that all life had been confined to a single-cell stage, forever free of taint of mitosis, let alone procreation.
Somewhere during the course of all this I noticed I'd snapped my pencil in half, and now I used the two ends to gouge out my brain.
"Guhhhhhh guhhhhh guhhhhhh guhhhhh guhhhhh," I said, by which I meant: "You have shattered whatever tattered remnants of pedagogical propriety I still possessed, and my tender young mind has broken beneath the strain." Nervously, I climbed back into my chair, the two halves of my pencil sticking out of ears like an arrow that had shot clean through my head.
Mrs. Miller allowed herself a small self-congratulatory smile.
Stichwörter: humour funny profanity sprout
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