You've brushed your teeth," He says, staring at me.
"I used your toothbrush."
His lips quirk up in a half smile. "Oh Anastasia Steele, what am I going to do with you?
Stichwörter: humor sex funny christian toothbrush anastasia fifty-shades fifty-shades-of-grey ana anastasia-steele
Coveralls," I reply, and I know I'm no longer screening what's coming out of my mouth.
He raises a eyebrow, amused yet again.
"You wouldn't want to ruin your clothing." I gesture vaguely in the direction of his jeans.
"I could always take them off." He smirks.
Stichwörter: humor sex funny christian anastasia fifty-shades e-l-james fifty-shades-of-grey christian-grey ana anastasia-steele take-off
I feel the color in my cheeks rising again. I must be the color of The Communist Manifesto.
E.L. JamesStichwörter: humor funny blush anastasia fifty-shades e-l-james fifty-shades-of-grey ana anastasia-steele flush communist-manifesto red-cheeks
We didn’t-?” I whisper, my mouth drying in mortified horror as I can’t complete the question. I stare at my hands.
“Anastasia, you were comatose. Necrophilia is not my thing. I like my women sentient and receptive,” he says dryly.
Stichwörter: humor funny christian necrophilia anastasia fifty-shades e-l-james fifty-shades-of-grey christian-grey ana anastasia-steele
You're not celibate, then?" I breathe.
Amusement lights up his eyes.
"No, Anastasia, I'm not celibate.
Stichwörter: humor sex funny christian celibate anastasia fifty-shades e-l-james fifty-shades-of-grey christian-grey ana anastasia-steele
Woolsey bites on occasion
Cassandra ClareStichwörter: funny magnus-bane possibly-inappropriate
Do you like flora and fauna? How about plants and animals? Because we have more of that beautiful crap than we know what to do with. Charmingly domesticated troops of monkeys swing freely throughout our orchid-laden property. You’re probably thinking that a lot of all-inclusive resorts have monkeys. True, but only one resort packs a monkey for each of their guests to take home. You’ll be showing off more than a tan to your friends, you’ll be showing off a gibbon.
Colin NissanStichwörter: humor absurd funny monkeys resorts
If I could fly, I would soar all the way up to the window of a plane carrying a suitcase in my hand, then I’d motion toward the plane’s door and make an annoyed face at the terrified passengers. I have a feeling I would do this a lot.
Colin NissanStichwörter: humor absurd funny flying
Are you having fun playing with those plastic 3-D models of ears, noses and throats? That’s kind of like what I do, except instead of cute little plastic models, it’s living human tissue, and instead of playing, I’m fucking working, and instead of fun, it’s fucking not fun, it’s serious.
Colin NissanStichwörter: humor funny doctors
By educating me at home, my parents were able to give me individualized attention without the usual distractions that kids in regular school experience, like dating and friendship. Not to mention that traditional school can be dangerous. I’ve heard about kids catching the flu and chicken pox, even Judaism.
And how about those poor kids lugging all those heavy books to and from school every day? My books never went anywhere, just like me. I felt so bad when I’d see kids on my street giggling and chasing each other around with those awkward backpacks.
Stichwörter: humor satire funny homeschooling
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