Hang your merit. I don't seek anyone's approbation.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Stichwörter: funny disapproval dishonesty approval black-humor honestly fyodor-dostoyevsky approbation praise-and-worship



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Only Uncle Pascha ignored her. He was contemplating his chessboard. She doubted that he'd move his piece today. It had been his turn for only six months. Once, he had gone three years between moves. He preferred a leisurely game.

Sarah Beth Durst

Stichwörter: funny chess



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So where does the name Adam's apple come from? Most people say that it is from the notion that this bump was caused by the forbidden fruit getting stuck in the throat of Adam in the Garden of Eden. There is a problem with this theory because some Hebrew scholars believe that the forbidden fruit was the pomegranate. The Koran claims that the forbidden fruit was a banana. So take your pick---Adam's apple, Adam's pomegranate, Adam's banana. Eve clearly chewed before swallowing.

Mark Leyner

Stichwörter: belief relationships funny humorous irony



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If a picture paints a thousand words, then a naked picture paints a thousand words without any vowels....

Josh Stern

Stichwörter: humor absurd funny picture naked vowels paints



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I was beginning to think that Simon just had a bad case of OCD, ADD, and PMS. With a little BS and OMG mixed in.

Dannika Dark

Stichwörter: humor romance funny character observation bs comical pms series ocd urban-fantasy pnr add omg uf dannika-dark



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I need to get ready. Ash? Touch the food and I won't take you for a driving lesson tomorrow. Dad? Touch it and I'll make you take him for a driving lesson tomorrow."

Dad backed away from the counter. Ash scowled. I laughed and continued upstairs.

Kelley Armstrong

Stichwörter: funny logic maya



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Isn't Glen an accountant? We're all frugal." These days, by necessity.

"You might be frugal, but Glen is cheap. For Valentine's Day, he actually suggested that we go to a card shop, exchange cards in the aisle, then put them back because he didn't see the use in spending the money!"

"Okay, that's cheap."

Libby huffed. "I swear, if he cuts up my Bloomingdale's card, I'll cut off his pecker.

Stephanie Bond

Stichwörter: funny cheapness frugal



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Well," Carole said, turning in her seat, "after being fingerprinted and being given a lie detector test, I'll never complain again about going to the gynecologist.

Stephanie Bond

Stichwörter: funny



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You know that passage in the Bible that says, “And the meek shall inherit the Earth”? Always wondered if that was mistranslated. Perhaps it actually says, “And the geek shall inherit the Earth.

Neil deGrasse Tyson

Stichwörter: funny bible quote geek meek



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If she in fact knows magic she needs to do a spell to adjust that shitty attitude she has all of a sudden,” Nona said. “I may not be a witch, but I will knock her right off that broomstick if she keeps this up.

Holly Hood

Stichwörter: paranormal-romance funny paranormal-series



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