For a long moment the butler sat in silence, his jaw hanging open. “I . . . my lord, I simply don't feel qualified to advise you about such matters.”
“Don't tell me that,” Saint protested. “Tell me whether you can imagine me as a married man or not.”

To his surprise, the butler set aside his brandy snifter and sat forward. “My lord, I do not wish to overstep my bounds, but I have noticed a change in your demeanor of late. The question of whether anyone can imagine you married or not, however, is one I believe must be answered by you. And the lady, of course.”

Saint frowned. “Coward.”
“There is that, as well.

Suzanne Enoch

Stichwörter: marriage hilarious



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Don’t do that? This is your sage advice?”
“Yeah.” He burped and blew it out the side of his mouth. “Sorry, the burritos we had for lunch are kinda comin’ back on me.

Mary Calmes

Stichwörter: hilarious crane calmes



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...I blink back the threat of tears, swiped at my nose and narrowed my eyes. "Listen to me, you two bags of monkey shit, "I yelled. "I am not in a good mood. My car keeps stalling. The day before yesterday I threw up on Joe Morelli. I was called a fat cow by my ex-husband. And if that isn't enough...my hair is ORANGE! ORANGE, FOR CHRISSAKE! And now you have the gall to force yourself into my home and threaten my hamster. Well, you have gone too far. You have crossed the line!

Janet Evanovich

Stichwörter: hilarious stephanie-plum



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Will you show me what you really look like? You don't sparkle, do you?

Jennifer L. Armentrout

Stichwörter: hilarious sparkly daemon katy



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Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.

Carroll Bryant

Stichwörter: humor humorous hilarious comical funny-but-true funny-humor funny-as-hell funny-but-sad



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Roz to Amelia (the house ghost): How considerate of you, after trying to kill me, to see that I don't catch a cold.

Nora Roberts

Stichwörter: classic hilarious



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The point is, if we find out you’ve been horrible to Harry —”
“— and make no mistake, we’ll hear about it.
“even if you won’t let Harry use the fellytone —”
Telephone

J.K. Rowling

Stichwörter: hilarious tonks dursley lupin arthur-weasley



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Her name badge read: Hello! My name is DIE, DEMIGOD SCUM!

Rick Riordan

Stichwörter: humor random funny hilarious rick-riordan laugh-out-loud the-son-of-neptune die-demigod-scum name-badge



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June cackled with delight, muttering, "Whoops!" as a car almost killed them.

Rick Riordan

Stichwörter: humor funny june hilarious rick-riordan the-son-of-neptune laugh-at-loud



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Piers looked up at him. 'You're new. What's your name?'

'Neythen, my lord.'

'Sounds like a terrible illness. No, more like a bowel problem. I'm sorry, Lord Sandys, your son has contracted neythen and won't live a month. No, no, there's nothing I can do. Sandys would have preferred hearing that to syphilis.

Eloisa James

Stichwörter: funny hilarious teasing make-fun-of



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