99% of all problems can be solved by money -- and for the other 1% there's alcohol.

Quentin R. Bufogle

Stichwörter: money drinking alcohol humorous-quotations money-issues 1-percent 99-percent drinking-quotes humorous-quotes money-happiness money-quotes



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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

Dennis Miller

Stichwörter: humorous-quotes



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There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.

Dennis Miller

Stichwörter: humorous-quotes



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Writers don't get mad they get even in their novels.

Candace C. Bowen

Stichwörter: quotes sarcastic-quotes humorous-quotes funny-quotes humor-quotes witty-quotes



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A “good friend” was well…. Like your teeth.
You had a limited number of them to last you an entire lifetime.
You could survive without them, but having them made life much more enjoyable.
If you didn’t take good care of them, you could lose them forever.

Rob Wood

Stichwörter: humorous-quotes



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Today I feel like I did tomorrow.

Carroll Bryant

Stichwörter: humor humorist comedy humorous comedy-humor humorous-quotes



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I just want you to know,' said the girl, coldly, 'that whoever you are and whatever you intend with me, I shall give you no aid of any kind, nor shall I assist you, and I shall do whatever is in my power to frustrate your plans and devices.' And then she added, with feeling, 'Idiot.

Neil Gaiman

Stichwörter: humorous-quotes the-star



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Generally speaking, I try not to generalize.

Addison C. Arthur

Stichwörter: humor humorous humorous-quotations humorous-quotes



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He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke.

Carroll Bryant

Stichwörter: humor funny humorous funny-but-true humorous-quotes



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To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German.

Charles V

Stichwörter: holy-roman-emperor languages humorous-quotes



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