I offered you a choice, and you took it."
I shot him what I hoped was a truly scathing glare. "Some choice. I was dying. Some drunk shot me from a pickup. Why wouldn't I have just woken up with gonorrhea like every other girl of loose moral fiber?
Stichwörter: funny choices gabriel jane-jameson molly-harper gonorrhea nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
I grabbed my purse, which was conveniently place by the front door. Gabriel was such a considerate abductor/host. He even left the front door unpadlocked.
Molly HarperStichwörter: funny gabriel jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
Wait, is this a nice-ish way of telling me we had sex and I was lousy? That's how you can tell I'm inexperienced? Because, if so, that's just rude. And what were you doing at Shenanigans? And how did you find me on the road?"
Gabriel looked wounded. "To answer your questions in order: The only body fluid I exchanged with you is blood--"
"That's very comforting, thank you.
Stichwörter: questions funny gabriel jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
Grandma Ruthie and her sister Jettie hadn't spoken a civil word in about fifteen years. Their last exchange was Ruthie's leaning over Jettie's coffin and whispering, "If you'd married and had children, there would be more people at your funeral." Of course, at the reading of Aunt Jettie's will, Grandma Ruthie was handed an enveloped containing a carefully folded high-resolution picture of a baboon's butt. That pretty much summed up their relationship.
Molly HarperStichwörter: baboon jane-jameson molly-harper aunt-jettie nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs grandma-ruthie
Up until two years ago, I was one of the top-selling real estate agents in the tricounty area. I went to a convention in Boca Raton. I had one too many margaritas, met a tall, pale, and handsome man in the bar, and woke up a vampire."
"I was mistaken for a deer and got shot," I offered."
"Oh.
Stichwörter: vampire jane-jameson molly-harper missy nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
My grandma Ruthie, Jettie's sister, had been married four times, so many times I started calling every old man I saw at the grocery store Grandpa.
Molly HarperStichwörter: funny jane-jameson molly-harper grandpa nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs remarried
Mama operated under the assumption that I was eight years old and incapable of feeding myself. It was physically impossible for her to cross my threshold without some form of nourishment. She once offered me cheese and crackers from her while we were standing in my kitchen.
Molly HarperStichwörter: food funny jane-jameson molly-harper mama nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
She's your mother. I asked, Plus, you do look a bit like her. When you're angry, you both get these tense lines around your mouth...Look, there they are.
Molly HarperStichwörter: funny anger jane-jameson molly-harper mama aunt-jettie nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
Besides, my drinking blood's not nearly as weird as that time I caught you shaving your legs."
"I was curious!
Stichwörter: funny vampire jane-jameson molly-harper bloodsucker nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs zeb
I would have taken Zeb, purely for entertainment value, but he had an actual date, with a real girl. That hadn't happened in a while, so I was a good friend and put my own needs second to the possibility of him actual sex with a real girl.
Molly HarperStichwörter: sex funny jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs zeb
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