Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs.

Oliver Goldsmith

Stichwörter: humor questions lies wit sarcasm witty ask



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I was supposed to be waiting up here when you got back, only your Phoenix lot got in the way...”
“Yes, they do that,” said Dumbledore.

J.K. Rowling

Stichwörter: humor sarcasm dumbledore malfoy order-of-the-phoenix



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If you say ‘we’re in this together,’ I’m going to hurl.

Kelley Armstrong

Stichwörter: humor sarcasm



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In 1803, President Jefferson oversaw the purchase of this land from the French for $15 million. It doesn't sound like much for an area three times the size of France itself but given that they'd stolen it from the Native Americans in the first place, I suppose they couldn't grumble. Once some debts had been wiped and estate agents had taken their commission, Napoleon's France ended up pocketing a little more than $8 million. Which is about how much it cost Pepsi Cola to secure the services of Britney Spears. Times have changed.

Dave Gorman

Stichwörter: humor america sarcasm



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Just remember that you're on my list, Marcone. Soon as I get done with all the other evils in this town, you won't be the lesser of them anymore."

Marcone stared at me with half-lidded eyes and said, "Eek.

Jim Butcher

Stichwörter: humor sarcasm harry-dresden johnnie-marcone



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You’re supposed to pinch yourself – not the one you’re dreaming about.

Nicki Elson

Stichwörter: humor romance sarcasm



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Listen, Peaches, trickery is what humans are all about," said the voice of Maurice. "They're so keen on tricking one another all the time that they elect governments to do it for them.

Terry Pratchett

Stichwörter: humor politics sarcasm government voting trickery



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I don't do what I'm told, but I might do what you want if you ask me nicely.

Cassandra Clare

Stichwörter: humor sarcasm obedience jace-wayland impudence imogen-herondale rebelliousness



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What was up with class today? It was watered-down porn. He practically had you and Patch on top of your lab table, horizontal, minus your clothes, doing the Big Deed.

Becca Fitzpatrick

Stichwörter: biology humour sarcasm



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I’m not sitting back here with another dude while there are two perfectly doable females in the car.

Nicki Elson

Stichwörter: humor sex sarcasm



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