Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Ambrose BierceTags: humor certainty satire mistakes positive self-assurance errors assertions
Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence.
Ambrose BierceTags: humor satire apologies offences
Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
Ambrose BierceTags: definitions sports
LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure.
Ambrose BierceSan Francisco is the place where most people were last seen
Ambrose BierceAn ambassador is a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given an office by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
Ambrose BierceScriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
Ambrose BierceTags: humor scripture false irony sacred profane scriptures holy-book holy-religion
Good-bye -- if you hear of my being stood up against a stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease or falling down the cellar stairs.
Ambrose BierceTags: mexico kind-darkness old-gringo pancho-villa the-good
I was born to poor because of honest parents.
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