MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.

Ambrose Bierce

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Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.

Ambrose Bierce

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Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;" as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.

Ambrose Bierce


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Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

Ambrose Bierce

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Clarinet n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.

Ambrose Bierce


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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

Ambrose Bierce

Tags: humor satire definitions quotes quotations



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NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.

Ambrose Bierce

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Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.

Ambrose Bierce

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Peace in international affairs: a period of cheating between periods of fighting

Ambrose Bierce


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Cel mai atractiv lucru din lume este fata pe care, instinctiv, o acoperim cu o panza. Cand ajunge si mai atragatoare, fascinanta chiar, o punem la doi metri sub pamant.

Ambrose Bierce


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