One never owns a book. It sits on your shelf in a fine edition like a piece of furniture, and you are its admiring ward until it flies off from you in a time of financial hardship. If it is a tattered paperback, she is your casual mistress you use a few times. If you have read it a hundred times then it is your wife, and a source of infinite mystery.
BauvardWhen you don't hold your pipe with the proper poise, smoking is very hazardous for your image.
BauvardPrivatization will always be a timid ideology as long as architects are allowed to unveil their buildings.
BauvardI don't believe in failure. I'm perseverant - I believe in failing.
BauvardTags: humor persistence funny perseverance failure
Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on my knees, begging for my life.
BauvardTags: humor death funny execution
A ransom note, the true test of unconditional love.
BauvardI shed a tear when I meet somebody who always quits. Reliable people are so rare in this world.
BauvardTags: humor funny quitting reliability
Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates.
BauvardThe smaller the dinner table, the better the side conversation: you can gossip about the guests without fearing whether you will be overheard. It just isn't good table manners to exclude someone from their own ridicule. That's why the juiciest side conversations occur at a table for one.
BauvardAping the lower class will only lead to fatherless children, unusable muscles, and the fear of tomorrow’s sobriety.
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