I happen to find ceilings much lovelier than the night sky myself. Sometimes I just stare at them for hours and wonder what could be up there.
BauvardI compensate for my debauchery by being brilliant at it. I make sacrifices for it by waking up in a gutter covered in the fruits of my genius.
BauvardDon't believe anything I say. My point of view is merely objective.
BauvardInconsistent parenting creates confusion. When I'm pitting mom against dad, they never know what to expect.
BauvardI don’t believe in a lot of phenomena that fall under the term ‘parapsychology.’ Especially that one branch, psychology. You’re going to tell me there’s something inside my head, controlling me?
BauvardWhat is the world coming to when girls allow their hands to be kissed without gloves? That young people don't use proper protection these days is exactly why there are always so many colds going around.
BauvardTreat each other like human beings? But the other great apes have no class hierarchy.
BauvardTags: humor humanity funny class
The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners.
BauvardTags: humor random funny ideas
I ran into an old friend on the street and we started up a conversation. Four hours and six bottles of wine later, we decided the weather was just too unpredictable, and we parted ways.
BauvardNever proscribe a child’s vitality – prescribe it.
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