You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.
Bill MaherTags: humour environmentalism deepwater-horizon-oil-spill environmental-disaster renewable-energy
New Rule: If you get to serve me a quarter-head of lettuce with dressing on it, which proves you could have made a salad but chose not to, then I get to pay you with an ATM receipt, which proves I have the money but you're not getting any.
Bill MaherTags: humor
New Rule: Gay marriage won't lead to dog marriage. It is not a slippery slope to rampant inter-species coupling. When women got the right to vote, it didn't lead to hamsters voting. No court has extended the equal protection clause to salmon. And for the record, all marriages are “same sex” marriages. You get married, and every night, it's the same sex.
Bill MaherTags: humor same-sex-marriage gay-marriage
I think religion is a neurological disorder.
Bill MaherTags: religion
You know, if you're an American and you're born at this time in history especially, you're lucky. We all are. We won the world history Powerball lottery.
Bill MaherAtheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position.
Bill MaherThis is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo.
Bill MaherTags: bp-oil-spill
New Rule: Stop asking Miss USA contestants if they believe in evolution. It’s not their field. It’s like asking Stephen Hawking if he believes in hair scrunchies. Here’s what they know about: spray tans, fake boobs and baton twirling. Here’s what they don’t know about: everything else. If I cared about the uninformed opinions of some ditsy beauty queen, I’d join the Tea Party.
Bill MaherTags: humor politics evolution political-humor beauty-contest miss-usa new-rule real-time unqualified
Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for - looking up exes to see how fat they got?
Bill MaherTags: humor funny internet exes facebook ex
I wouldn't touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use parts of the animal that the Chinese can't figure out how to make into a belt? -timecode 1:11:10
Bill MaherTags: vegetarianism vegan veganism vegetarian
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