By the way he reacted, you would have thought I told him that slavery never happened. He laid into me with the same gusto as a right-wing political pundit on the O'Reilly Factor defending President Bush's right to vacation six days out of the week.
Chelsea HandlerThis was just the way I imagined myself around Nancy Grace--available, yet distant.
Chelsea HandlerTags: humor nancy-grace
She cried the first time she was pulled over by a cop. I explained to her that there is no reason to cry when getting pulled over--unless you're coming directly from from a crime scene.
Chelsea HandlerIf I had seen pictures of people eating each other on the wall, I would've told him I was into cannibalism.
Chelsea HandlerTags: humor lies lying cannibalism awkward compulsive-lying
I don't know who thought up waxing, but it was clearly the same person who invented Vicodin.
Chelsea HandlerI love people who have such passion for complete nonsense.
Chelsea HandlerMy mother is the antithesis of a typical Jewish mother, she is very soft-spoken and takes more naps that a cat. As a result, I've always longed for someone to really annoy the shit out of me.
Chelsea HandlerTags: humor family parents jewish-mother
We checked our bags and got on line with some of our fellow passengers. Judging from the looks of them, it was clear that they were members of a different income bracket from the people I preferred to surround myself with. But since I also wasn't from the income bracket I preferred, I held off on voicing my initial feelings of despair.
Chelsea HandlerI could tell the raciest things these women had ever been involved in was a co-ed game of Connect Four.
Chelsea HandlerTags: humor risque conservative racy
I have a question. Is it okay to drink while you're pregnant...if you're planning on giving the baby up for adoption?
Chelsea HandlerTags: humor drinking alcohol pregnancy
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