Abby: I could be a slave to your darkest desires. I can do things. Anything you want.
Tommy: Well, that's terrific, because we have a lot of laundry piled up and the apartment is a wreck.
Abby: Anything you desire, my lord. I can do laundry, clean, bring you small creatures to quench your thirst until I am worthy.

Christopher Moore


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Charlie had Sophie strapped to his chest like a terrorist baby bomb when he came down the back steps. She had just gotten to the point where she could hold up her head, so he had strapped her in face-out so she could look around. The way her arms and legs waved around as Charlie walked, she looked as if she was skydiving and using a skinny nerd as a parachute.

Christopher Moore


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After all the evidence is in--after you've run all the facts by everything you know--and you're still lost, you have to do some things on faith.

Christopher Moore


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So I am death" Charlie said then turned to his daughter while buttering his toast.

"This is death toast sweety.

Christopher Moore

Tags: humor fantasy



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I'm beginning to wonder," said Kent, sitting down now on an overturned wooden tub. "Who do I serve? Why am I here?"

You are here, because, in the expanding ethical ambiguity of our situation, you are steadfast in your righteousness. It is to you, our banished friend, that we all turn—a light amid the dark dealings of family and politics. You are the moral backbone on which the rest of us hang our bloody bits. Without you we are merely wiggly masses of desire writhing in our own devious bile."

Really?" asked the old knight.

Aye," said I.

I'm not sure I want to keep company with you lot, then.

Christopher Moore

Tags: morality ethics fool kent



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We've been rehearsing a classic from antiquity, Green Eggs and Hamlet, the story of a young prince of Denmark who goes mad, drowns his girlfriend, and in his remorse, forces spoiled breakfast on all whom he meets.

Christopher Moore

Tags: hamlet breakfast



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Ooo ahe-e, I aya oa a," she said in yawnspeak, a language - not unlike Hawaiian - known for its paucity of consonants.

Christopher Moore

Tags: fluke christopher-moore



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She glanced over her shoulder to look at the forty-foot cabin cruiser where Captain Tarwater posed on the bow looking like an advertisement for a particularly rigid laundry detergent - Bumstick Go-Be-Bright, perhaps

Christopher Moore

Tags: fluke christopher-moore



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So Now You're Death: Here's What You'll Need

Christopher Moore

Tags: a-dirty-job



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I am convinced by the events of the last few weeks that nefarious forces of people--unidentified but no less real--are threatening life as we know it, and in fact, may be bent on unraveling the very fabric of our existence.

Christopher Moore


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