Lash had been explaining to her that it's impolite to refer to an African American as a nigga, unless one was another African American, when Troy Lee came in and said, "She only speaks Cantonese."

"She does not. She keeps coming in and saying 'What's up my nigga?'"

"Oh yeah. She does that to me, too. Did you give her a pound?"

"No. I didn't give her a pound, motherfucker. She called me a nigga."

"Well, she's not going to quit unless you give her a pound. It's just the way she rolls."

"That's some bullshit, Troy."

"It's her couch.

Christopher Moore

Tags: funny humourous-situations

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So I'm all, "Owned! Bee-yatch! Dog fucking owned you!" Doing a minor booty dance of ownage, perhaps, in retrospect, a bit prematurely. (I believe hip-hop to be the apprpriate language for taunting, at least until I learn French.)

Christopher Moore

Tags: humorous

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Abby Von Normal - And I'm like, "Don't change the subject, Kung Pao, what I want to know is if you're ready to spend some up-close and personal time with ninety pounds of barbarian woman-flesh! Sorry, I don't know how much that is in kilos.

Christopher Moore

Tags: funny

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The angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. [...] The children need heroes, he says. I think he just wants to swing from buildings in tight red jammies.

Christopher Moore

Tags: humour

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Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say, 'attaboy'.

Christopher Moore

Tags: humour beatitudes

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Just because he was pretty didn't mean he couldn't be improved by a smack upside the head with a piece of earnest hickory

Christopher Moore

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He had risked his freedom and his pride to buy her this, to acknowledge that part of her that everyone else seemed to want to get rid of.

Christopher Moore

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It's kinda hard to get yourself into a good three-toweler when you got the dick of death.

Christopher Moore

Tags: vampires simon bloodsucking-fiends humon

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Life is an irritation.

Christopher Moore

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This story is not and never was meant to challenge anyone's faith; however, if one's faith can be shaken by stories in a humorous novel, one may have a bit more praying to do.

Christopher Moore

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