Santa Claus is just a story," says Seth. "He's just the opening band to God. There is no Santa Claus.

Chuck Palahniuk


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And I want Seth dead. Worse than dead, I want him fat and bloated with water and insecure and emotional.

Chuck Palahniuk


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Anymore, no one's mine is their own.

Chuck Palahniuk


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This is the biggest mistake I could think would save me. I wanted to give up the idea that I had any control. Shake things up. To be saved by chaos. To see if I could cope, I wanted to force myself to grow again. To explode my comfort zone.

Chuck Palahniuk


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Marla said, "This isn't like when guys sit backward on the toilet and pretend it's a motorcycle. This is a genuine accident.

Chuck Palahniuk

Tags: humor funny motorcycle page-108



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Only two guys to a fight. One fight at a time. They fight without shirts or shoes. The fights go on as long as they have to. Those are the other rules of fight club.

Chuck Palahniuk

Tags: fight-club rules



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At the store, they have one-hundred-percent-recycled toilet paper," Marla says. "The worst job in the whole world must be recycling toilet paper.

Chuck Palahniuk

Tags: page-71 jobs



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I knew this would happen," Marla says. "You're such a flake. You love me. You ignore me. You save my life, then you cook my mother into soap.

Chuck Palahniuk

Tags: humor love funny soap pages-159-160



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Branch Bacardi, star of The Da Vinci Load, To Drill a Mockingbird, The Postman Always Cums Twice, Chitty Chitty Gang Bang, The Twilight Bone, A Tale of Two Titties...

Chuck Palahniuk


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My feet walked me down the aisle of the Greyhound bus, all the way to the back. My butt sat me in a seat.
My butt's accomplished a lot since then.
My butt's a movie star.

Chuck Palahniuk


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