Anyway, if you needed something really dangerous, get a gun. It's easy, it's cheap, and it's the American way.

Craig Ferguson

Tags: between-the-bridge-and-the-river



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Laughter separates us from despair, and gives us a chance at love.

Craig Ferguson

Tags: love laughter



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America truly is the best idea for a country that anyone has ever come up with so far. Not only because we value democracy and the rights of the individual, but because we are always our own most effective voice of descent....We must never mistake disagreement between Americans on political or moral issues to be an indication of their level of patriotism. If you don't like what I say or don't agree with where I stand on certain issues, then good. I'm glad we're in America, and don't have to oppress each other over it. We're not just a nation, we're not an ethnicity. We are a dream of justice that people have had for a thousand years.

Craig Ferguson

Tags: inspirational patriotism americans



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Even the incorruptible are corruptible if they cannot accept the possibility of being mistaken.
Infallibility is a sin in any man.
All laws can be broken and are.
Often.

Craig Ferguson

Tags: man corruption right-and-wrong rules laws



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The Bible has been through at least half a dozen translations by the time you read it. Plus, when the word of God is infected by the hand of man, that is, written down, it is tainted.

Craig Ferguson

Tags: man god bible translation word-of-god infection



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He was in awe of the thirst that people had for someone to tell them that everything was going to be all right. He marveled at the gullibility and vulnerability of his fellow humans. No wonder the churches called them sheep. They were woolly-headed pack animals being herded around for the benefit of whoever knew how to control the dogs.

Craig Ferguson

Tags: power humanity religion church gullibility sheep



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The truth is that Leon, like a lot of those-maybe everyone-who trips on acid, never really came back. he recovered but he was never the same guy again. He had lost something-innocence of hell. Acid presses a little button in your mind that should never be pressed

Craig Ferguson

Tags: drugs acid acid-trips



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It never occurred to them that God may have provided the world with a vast array of very brainy medical types for the very reason of solving problems such as theirs. However, there is one thing that the medical profession cannot do and that is save people from being idiots.

Craig Ferguson

Tags: pain god death illness doctors medical-establishment



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It turns out that speeding irresponsibly in a large truck, placing personal wealth ahead of the welfare of others, is one of the greatest sins in the Universe....

Craig Ferguson

Tags: death speeding reckless-driving rules-of-the-universe



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If you can't trust, you can't be trustworthy.

Craig Ferguson

Tags: trust



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