After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.”
“You do have that effect on people.

Darynda Jones

Tags: humor life



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Nobody wants to look like a fool. Nine times out of ten, that
reason alone keeps people from allowing themselves to believe.

Darynda Jones

Tags: belief faith appearances



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Oh, my god!" I said, throwing my hands over my eyes and hurtling my body against the counter.
"What?"
"You're naked."
"I'm not naked."
"I'm blind."
"You're not blind. I'm wearing pants."
"Oh." That was embarrassing.

Darynda Jones

Tags: humor



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That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.”
“You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice.
“Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize you
knew that.

Darynda Jones

Tags: humor



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You called me at four thirty-four....I hate four thirty-four. I think four thirty-four should be banned and replaced with something more reasonable, like, say, nine twelve.

Darynda Jones

Tags: humor mornings



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But give up my business? The same business I'd built from the ground up with my own two hands and designer Louis Vuittons? The same business for which I'd sacrificed blood, sweat, and tears? Well, maybe not sweat and tears, but there was blood. Lots of blood. Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.

Darynda Jones

Tags: charley-davidson



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When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.

Darynda Jones


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Jesus may love you, but i'm his favourite

Darynda Jones

Tags: second-grave-on-the-left



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Somebody has to be sane during regular business hours, and it's not going to be me, missy.

Darynda Jones

Tags: humorous-quotations



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This place is like crazy on crackers.

Darynda Jones


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