I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.
Darynda JonesNo. This has to do with drugs."
My jaw fell open and I almost lost my toothbrush. "You're on drugs?"
She pressed her mouth together. "No. You are."
"I'm on drugs?" I asked, stunned. I had no idea.
Let me express how much I don't care on a scale of one to bite me," the former detective said.
Darynda JonesMistakes were made.
Others were blamed.
An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
Darynda JonesTime to make today my bitch.
Darynda JonesI chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.
Darynda JonesI was in a mental asylum? When the fuck did that happen?
Darynda JonesI was never really certain why he scared the bejesus out of me. Nothing scared me growing up. I’ve been playing with dead people since the day I was born, so it’s good thing, yet the Big Bad scared me. Which brings me to the reason I called.”
“Which was to give me nightmares for the rest of my life?”
“Oh, no, that’s just a plus. Why was I so scared of him?”
“Hon, for one thing he was this powerful, massive, black smokelike being.”
“So, you’re saying I’m a racist?
Never trust a man with a penis.
Darynda JonesTags: humor humor-inspirational
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