Here is a drawing of a stapler:
Dave EggersHello Frances, I have just been to health class, and I was wondering how your feminine parts were developing.
Dave EggersIf you think I'm annoying and preachy now, you should have known me in grade school.
Dave EggersI hung up the phone, jubilant, and threw myself into a wall, then pretended to be getting electrocuted. I do this when I'm very happy.
Dave EggersTags: funny
Many of the members of the class had never held ice.
Dave EggersTags: nonfiction
But while Sasha told us that in America even the most successful men can have but one wife at once--my father had six--and talked about escalators, indoor plumbing, and the various laws of the land, he did not warn us that I would be told by American teenagers that I should go back to Africa.
Dave EggersTags: nonfiction
Why do we pursue information that we know will never leave our heads?
Dave EggersDid you hear that crazy man? we said.
--Education is your mother? we said.
We laughed and did imitations. We thought Mr. Kondit, like more than a few of the men and boys who had crossed the desert to get to Ethiopia, had lost his mind along the way.
Because secrets do not increase in value if kept in a gore-ian lockbox, because one's past is either made useful or else mutates and becomes cancerous. We share things for the obvious reasons: it makes us feel un-alone, it spreads the weight over a larger area, it holds the possibility of making our share lighter. And it can work either way - not simply as a pain-relief device, but, in the case of not bad news but good, as a share-the-happy-things-I've-seen/lessons-I've-learned vehicle. Or as a tool for simple connectivity for its own sake, a testing of waters, a stab at engagement with a mass of strangers.
Dave EggersIt was always difficult to get cattle returned once a marriage was dissolved.
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