You have no idea about presents or what they mean. The last
present you gave me was a stick.”
“You wanted a weapon.”
“It was a stick.”
“It had a bow on it.”
“It was a stick.”
“I thought you liked the stick. You laughed.
Tags: humor weapon presents stick skulduggery-pleasant valkyrie-cain
But if you can confront your inner demons—"
"I did confront my inner demon. I punched him in the face and he exploded."
Valkyrie had to laugh. "But now he's back."
"Of course he's back. He's resourceful. He is my inner demon, after all.
That was a good day for me," Skulduggery said. "I didn't have to hit anyone. I didn't have to shoot anyone. I just sat around and talked to my good friend and partner, Valkyrie Cain.
Derek LandyTags: friendship
Fletcher was always going to be your ex-boyfriend, from the moment you met him. He's just finally caught up with where he's supposed to be.
Derek LandyTags: relationships
We're not robbing him," Skulduggery said." But I'm afraid I have some bad news."
"Is it Deacon?" Francine asked, her eyes wide.
"It is."
"Is he sick?"
"It's a little worse than that."
She gasped. "He's dying?"
"He was briefly dying," said Skulduggery. "Now he's dead.
Corrival looked around. 'So is this it? Is everyone here? Erskine, maybe you should start the ball rolling. I have places to go and things to do.'
'Me?' Ravel asked. 'Why do I have to start it? You're the most respected mage here. You start it, or Skulduggery.'
Skulduggery shook his head. 'I can't start it. I don't like most of these people. I might start shooting.
Tags: humor magic grudges conversation humorous skulduggery-pleasant gathering mages
But I'm really enjoying my retirement. I get to sleep in every day. I do crossword puzzles and eat cake.
Derek LandyTags: humor laziness humorous cake retirement crossword-puzzles sleeping-in
She had been a teenager once, and she knew that, despite the apparent contradictions, a person's teenage years lasted well into their fifties.
Derek LandyTags: humor growing-up immaturity humorous teenagers teens
I mean you ACRES of harm,' Dalrymple growled. 'Untold QUANTITIES of harm. I will visit a whole CONTINENT of harm upon you before we are through.
Derek LandyTags: humor humorous threats what-the-hell
Embrace your inner lunatic. Fun times guaranteed.
Derek LandyTags: humor insanity fun humorous lunatics
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