Other stories tell how I eat innocent newborns, how I’m ten feet tall, how I breathe fire and have great dragon wings. None of these are wholly accurate. I don’t have dragon wings, I don’t breathe fire, I’m only eight feet tall and I’ve never eaten a newborn that didn’t have it coming. My name is Mevolent. What’s yours?
Derek LandyBecause I’m an English ninja,” Tanith replied. “We’re just like regular ninjas, except we wear leather and flirt more.
Derek LandyYou have an amazing ability to depress me sometimes, you know that?"
"I try my best.
Tags: humor
She's you, without your conscience, or your feelings. She's you without your humanity."
"You're saying she's a mood swing?"
He shrugged. "Or maybe you're her mood swing."
"Don't even joke about that.
Tags: humor skulduggery-pleasant mood-swing
The next time? Oh, my dear Eliza, you're not going to carry on with this, are you? The Faceless Ones had their chance. They returned and they were sent away again. It's time to move on. Time to take up another hobby, like crocheting, or serial killing.
Derek LandyTags: humor hobbies skulduggery-pleasant china-sorrows
Fletcher appeared beside her. He peered at the baby.
"Can it do any tricks yet?"
"I'm still working on it. Want to hold her?"
"God, no," Fletcher said laughing. "I'd drop it."
"It's not an it, it's my baby sister. Go on, hold her. You won't make a mess of it, i swear. Only an idiot could drop a baby."
"You always say I am an idiot."
"But you're a special kind of idiot. Here."
She passed Alice into his arms, and he stood there, rigid, a look of intense concentration on his face.
Tags: babies idiots derek-landy skulduggery-pleasant
I'm sorry? No more smooches is worse than the world ending?
Derek LandyTags: humor skulduggery-pleasant valkyrie-cain caelan
Clarabelle...Clarabelle... You worked as Kenspeckle Grouse's assistant, did you not?'
'One of the. He fired all the others.'
'But not you?'
'He fired me on the second day, but I kept coming in. I had nowhere else to go.'
'And then you killed him.'
'Yes.'
'A Remnant squirmed inside you, and you killed Kenspeckle Grouse.'
'Yes.'
Nye grinned. 'You're hired. But I have warn you, if you try to kill me, I will dissect you and sing along to your screams.'
'Can I have Mondays off?'
'You may.
Tags: humor skulduggery-pleasant clarabelle dr-nye
The sparrow flies south for the winter.
Derek LandyTags: skulduggery-pleasant
Oh, escape is easy once you have the right plan.'
'Do we have the right plan?'
'Not yet.'
'Do we have any plan?'
'Not yet.
Tags: skulduggery-pleasant
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