I am a rational man, but haven't you heard? i'm also insane. It gives me a unique perspective on things.
Derek LandyTags: skulduggery-pleasant
I don’t want a perfectly safe weapon. I want a dangerous weapon that hurts people.”
He took the stick from her, rapped it against her head. She howled and he nodded.
“See? It hurts people.
The Baron, unfortunately, turns it all the way up to eleven."
"Seriously? Because, you know, that's one more evil
Tags: skulduggery valkyrie-cain
Annis had never been a people person, unless ‘people person’ was defined as a person who ate people.
Derek LandyThis is stolen? We're in a stolen jet?"
"Not stolen," said Donegan Bane from the co-pilot's seat.
"Almost stolen," Gracious corrected.
"Semi-stolen," said Donegan.
"Quasi-stolen," said Gracious.
Aurora's frown did not turn upside down. "So is it stolen or not?"
Donegan and Gracious hesitated.
"Yes," they both said together.
Tags: humor funny planes pilot skulduggery tanith-lee maleficent
Aurora sagged. "Why is it," she asked, "that every time I'm with you two we end up stealing something big?"
"We always return it," Donegan said, a little defensively. "Maybe not always in one piece or necessarily to the right person but return it we do, and so it is not stealing, it is merely borrowing."
Gracious looked at him. "It's a little bit stealing."
"Anyone who leaves a private jet just lying around deserves to have it stolen."
"It wasn't lying around," said Gracious. "It was locked up tight. It took us an hour to dismantle the security system and get inside."
Donegan looked at him. "You're not helping.
Tags: funny accident plane skulduggery leave valkyrie tanith-low gracious malifecent
Donegan Bane and Gracious O'Callahan - the Monster Hunters. Adventurers, inventors, authors of Monster Hunting for Beginners and it's sequels, Monster Hunting for Beginners is Probably Inadvisable and Seriously, Dude, Stop Monster Hunting.
Derek LandyTags: humour funny girl hunting low wolf monster skulduggery valkyrie tanith gracious darquesse
Ladies and gentleman," he said over the speakers, "welcome aboard this recently liberated Gulfstream V. If I could have your attention for just a few moments, I'd like to go over the safety features of this aircraft. It has an engine, to make us go, and wings, to keep us in the air. There are seatbelts, which won't do you an awful lot of good if we fly into the side of a mountain.
Derek LandyTags: safety funny rules craft air plane fly tanith malifecent
You said I was your number-one pick."
"And you are. In our hearts. Alphabetically, though, Dusk comes before you.
While my insides may be rotten, I still like a good reason to kill someone. It has to be either business, personal, or out of sheer boredom.
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