You think Bernadette Maguire killed him?”
“Uh… no. She’s, like I said, she’s old.”
“Old people can kill people too.”
“I know, but…”
“She could be a ninja.”
“She’s not a ninja, for God’s sake. She’s somebody’s great grandmother.”
“I want you to think carefully about this, Kenny. Have you ever seen her with a sword?”
“What?”
“How about throwing stars?”
“This is ridiculous.”
“Have you ever seen her dressed up as a ninja? That would have been my first clue.”
The girl sucked in her cheeks so she wouldn't laugh out loud.

Derek Landy

Tags: laugh ninja great-grandmother

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You say one more thing that sounds like it's ripped from the pages of a really bad gothic romance and I'm out of here, are we clear?" - Valkyrie Cain

Derek Landy

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You need to find yourself a new hero." - Skulduggery Pleasant.

Derek Landy

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This girl (Stephanie) is but a few months away from her seventeenth birthday and already she has saved the world and killed a god. What have you done?

Derek Landy

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We're not really intruding," he called down. "This is all a big misunderstanding."
"Stop right there!" shouted one of them.
Skulduggery held his hand to an ear he didn't have.
"What's that?"
"Stop!"
"Keep going?"
"STOP!"
"OK, we'll keep going.

Derek Landy

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We punch people, Valkyrie. That’s who we are. Embrace your inner lunatic. Fun times guaranteed.

Derek Landy

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I kill a sofa for you and you go and sit in a chair?” Skulduggery asked. “I don’t think you appreciate the sacrifice that has been made for you.

Derek Landy

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We don’t need a cure,” the other zombie said.
“That’s right,” Scapegrace nodded.
“We’re happy the way we are.”
“Happy with the power,” Scapegrace clarified.
“Very happy, just the two of us, and there’s nothing wrong with us either. It’s very natural in fact. Nothing to be ashamed of—”
“Thrasher,” said Scapegrace, “shut up.

Derek Landy

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I think zombies are kind of cute.”
“Seriously?”
“I may be thinking about bunnies. Which one has the fluffy little tail, zombies or bunnies?”
“Bunnies.”
“Then it’s bunnies I’m thinking of.

Derek Landy

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I just want to let you know that I love you all. Even those of you that I don't like; that's you Beryl.

Derek Landy

Tags: inspirational

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