Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.

Erma Bombeck

Tags: philosophy



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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Erma Bombeck

Tags: men television sports football



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Housework can kill you if done right.

Erma Bombeck

Tags: humor housekeeping chores



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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

Erma Bombeck

Tags: humor pain laughter tragedy hurt comedy



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I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

Erma Bombeck

Tags: humor food



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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.

Erma Bombeck

Tags: food carpe-diem titanic



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It was a bitter moment for us. We weren't two mature parents. We were just two kids playing grown-up. We still needed Mommy and Daddy's permission, blessings, and money to survive.

Erma Bombeck

Tags: age marriage relationships



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When humor goes, there goes civilization.

Erma Bombeck

Tags: humor society civilization



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All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

Erma Bombeck

Tags: children courage bravery housekeeping parenting parenthood carpeting



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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

Erma Bombeck

Tags: travel airports luggage



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