I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows.
Erma BombeckTags: humor housekeeping toilet-tissue
Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
Erma BombeckEveryone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. "Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?" Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?" Wasn't there any change?
Erma BombeckHumor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises.
Erma BombeckTags: humor surprise spontaneity
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
Erma BombeckTags: dreams courage bravery openness sharing self-disclosure
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?!
Erma BombeckTags: diet abstinence self-indulgence
I come from a home where gravy is a beverage.
Erma BombeckTags: food
Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
Erma BombeckTags: humor housekeeping chores
In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
Erma BombeckTags: diets weight weight-loss
Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip
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