If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.

Erma Bombeck


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We've got a generation now who were born with semiequality. They don't know how it was before, so they think, this isn't too bad. We're working. We have our attache' cases and our three piece suits. I get very disgusted with the younger generation of women. We had a torch to pass, and they are just sitting there. They don't realize it can be taken away. Things are going to have to get worse before they join in fighting the battle.

Erma Bombeck

Tags: feminism



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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

Erma Bombeck


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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Erma Bombeck


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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

Erma Bombeck


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There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, 'Yes, I’ve got dreams, of course I’ve got dreams.' Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they’re still there.

Erma Bombeck


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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.

Erma Bombeck


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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

Erma Bombeck


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Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

Erma Bombeck

Tags: advice birth teenagers car



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As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.

Erma Bombeck

Tags: librarian



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