Know the quiet place within your heart and touch the rainbow of possibility; be alive to the gentle breeze of communication, and please stop being such a jerk.

Garrison Keillor


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In TIME June 7, 2010
On the sustainability of the publishing industry, in the Chicago Tribune:
"I think that book publishing is about to slide into the sea. We live in a literate time, and our children are writing up a storm, often combining letters and numbers.... The future of publishing: 18 million authors in America, each with an average of 14 readers, eight of whom are blood relatives. Average annual earnings: $175." - 5/26/10

Garrison Keillor

Tags: prairie-home-companion writers-groups



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Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.

Garrison Keillor


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I was afraid you had deceased,' he said. 'Or gotten engrossed in a long book.

Garrison Keillor


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When you wage war on the public schools, you're attacking the mortar that holds the community together. You're not a conservative, you're a vandal.

Garrison Keillor

Tags: education



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Some people have a love of their fellow man in their hearts, and others require a light anesthetic.

Garrison Keillor


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A good newspaper is never good enough, but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever.

Garrison Keillor


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Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

Garrison Keillor


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Free enterprise runs on self interest. This is socialism and it runs on loyalty . . . if people were going to live by comparison shopping, the town would go bust . . . If you live there you have to take it as a whole. That's loyalty.

Garrison Keillor

Tags: humor



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If you can't read a simple goddam sign and follow one simple goddam instruction then get your fat butt the hell out of here.

Garrison Keillor

Tags: humor



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