I didn't point out that Courtney and I were hardly BFFs. In Mom's world everyone under the age of eighteen was friends with everyone else, like we were all part of some secret society of minors.
Gemma HallidayNo matter how much I may love—scratch that, loved, past tense—Josh, I was no dummy. Everyone knows the Y chromosome carries with it the instinctive urge to lie under pressure.
Which, incidentally, was what Josh was going to be under when I found him. Serious pressure.
On his larynx.
Why is it that when someone says "trust me", I always feel less inclined to do so?
Gemma HallidayOur bodies are our temples. They should have a little more respect for themselves than that.”
“You know, I could have sworn I saw you shoveling Cheetos into your temple last week.”
“Oh, but I’m pretty sure those were nonfat,” Kaylee piped up.
Oh brother.
There are three things you never want to find in your boyfriend's locker: a sweaty jockstrap, a D minus on last week's history test, and an empty condom wrapper.
Lucky me, I'd hit the trifecta.
Mental face palm. Suddenly I wasn't sure there was enough room on the campus for both me and his ego.
Gemma HallidayEarthquakes just happen. Tornadoes just happen. Your tongue does not just happen to fall into some other girls mouth!
Gemma HallidayShe shot me a sugar-coated smile. I matched it calorie for calorie.
Gemma HallidayI need to be casual but not too casual. Dressy but not too dressy. I need him to think I just threw on the first thing I found and that I'm not taking this too seriously or overthinking it or even that I was thinking about it at all. Because I'm not. I'm totally not thinking about him, and I don't want him to think I was thinking about him, but I don't want him to think that I'm not thinking about him, because clearly he thought about me enough to ask me out and it would be mean not to be thinking about him at all, so I need just the right amount of thinking, and I'm not sure if that means boots and a skirt or skinny jeans and ballet flats. Help!
Gemma HallidayThat craptastical, gutless, son-of-a-cactus humping butt monkey" - Hartley Featherston
Gemma HallidayTags: humour
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