If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. And probably increase.
George CarlinTags: humor compassion peace funny
As it stands right now, I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks, two to one. However, Richard still leads me, one to nothing, in burning yourself up.
George CarlinHow can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
George CarlinHow is it possible to have a civil war?
George CarlinTags: humor war funny terminology euphemism
The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
George CarlinPeople love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: 'I'm such a klutz!' But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver.
George CarlinTo my way of thinking, there is every bit as much evidence for the
existence of UFOs as there is for the existence of God. Probably far
more. At least in the case of UFOs there have been countless taped
and filmed and, by the way, unexplained sightings from all over the
world, along with documented radar evidence seen by experienced
military and civilian radar operators.
They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.
George CarlinReligion is just mind control.
George CarlinReligion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.
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