You can prick your finger ... Just don't finger your prick.
George CarlinTags: humor
Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
George CarlinI like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin' heroic.
George CarlinTags: individuality nature individualism heroism hero grass
I love it in a movie when they throw a guy off a cliff. I love it even when it's not a movie. No, especially when it's not a movie.
George CarlinTags: humor
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
George CarlinI wanted to get a job as a gynecologist, but I couldn't find an opening.
George CarlinTags: humor
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
George CarlinTags: humor
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
George CarlinThe only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
George CarlinWhy do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Just to be silly!
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