As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
George CarlinIf someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
George CarlinTags: multiple-personalities
There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
George CarlinGeorge Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
George CarlinFuck rational thought
George CarlinTags: humor inspirational thought rational
I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
George CarlinWhat do dogs do on their day off?; Can't lie around – that's their job!
George CarlinInside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
George CarlinI have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
George CarlinYou're just another american who is willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick being shoved up your asshole every day... The owners of this country know the truth... it's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it!
George CarlinTags: patriotism stupidity ignorance american-dream servitude
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