Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Groucho MarxTags: truism
We'll meet at the theater tonight. I'll hold your seat 'til you get there. Once you get there; you're on your own.
Groucho MarxTags: humor
I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.
Groucho MarxOne morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
Groucho MarxTags: humor
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
Groucho MarxTags: naughty
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho MarxIt isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
Groucho MarxTags: humor
Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... now you tell me what you know.
Groucho MarxWhy, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
Groucho MarxTags: absurd
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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